That Light at the End of the Tunnel

I’ve spent much of my life feeling angry.  I’ve been angry about things that have happened to me and mine that were under no one’s control, that were unfortunate circumstance.  I could never find a way to process the anger or sadness or other feelings and put them behind me.  

Days innumerable have been spent in the fog of anger, of rage.  Of absolute negativity.  Of the inability to believe or hope good things would come my way – or if they had, to see or appreciate them.  

I’ve been too busy being angry, being determined to be angry to realize that continuing that path has kept the bad in a beeline for me.  

While it’s a hard habit to break, I’m determined to do it.  And I am doing it.  Baby steps are still progress, no matter how little.  

I’ve spoken of hope before, but I spoke of it in a meaningless way, sort of the way you’d talk about unicorns.  It’s a lovely thought, but you don’t really believe they exist.  

I’m beginning to believe.  Not in unicorns, mind you, but of hope.  That it does exist, that it is real, that having it can make life change.  

This year has held many dark days for me but they were days I had to convince myself would end.  

Without the dark, you’d never be able to see the stars.  

If the bad hadn’t happened to me, I wouldn’t be here now.  

I’ve changed my mindset, changed my perspective.  

While I certainly didn’t enjoy the bad, without it, the good that’s present now wouldn’t be here.  The bad has led me to the good.  

I can choose to worry about the things I cannot control, or I can accept them and move on.  I can choose to be a slave to anxiety, or I can count my blessings and be grateful.  

Life isn’t perfect.  It never is.  But this life is about acknowledging what you have – good or bad – and doing what you can with it.  And we only get one chance.  I don’t want to live the way I’d been living anymore.  I want good things, I want happiness, I want hope, I want love and family.  You have to believe in them, fervently believe they are possible and that you deserve them.  And, I’m finding out, if you believe, if you repeat over and over, they will come to you.  

We must choose happiness over the anger every day.  Every morning we wake up, we must make a choice to let fear or happiness reign.  We must choose to believe.  

And maybe I believe in unicorns too.  But only a little.  

Ignorance Shaming Week

I’m one of those people that tend to arrive late to the party.  It’s probably on purpose.  I do love to make an entrance.  So earlier today I read something about this little movement called “Fat Shaming Week”.  It seemed a little absurd to me.  Had I also missed “Pedophile Shaming Week”? How about “Bestiality Shaming Week”? Did we take care of all those groups and we’re now moving on to fat people?

After some reading and research it seemed that there was one main egg responsible for it.  I’d call them a person, but you see, this internet warrior decided to leave his face far off of his Twitter account.  I can only guess that this is to make sure they are safe from any critique or ridicule that they might in fact receive. But what’s a bully without a heap of fear and repression.  Maybe they used to be fat? Maybe they needed a hug from Mom and Dad?

 Anyway, I read through this shriveled nutsack’s tweets and fund them to be not only basic and misogynistic, but completely devoid of any real thought process.  Things like “If you’re fat, no one will love you”, or “Put down the fork”.  Clever, so clever.  Truly you’re proof of how great our educational system is.  If these were written out prior to shitting them onto the internet, I’m guessing it was in crayon, with a lot of misspellings.  One of his brilliant insights even said, “I just had sex.  And I’m laying here while the girl cleans herself in the bathroom.  Or whatever women do.”  The answer to what they do, is masturbate.  Because you’ve never satisfied one.

In my life, I’ve had the privilege of knowing a lot of great women.  Each one beautiful in their own way.  They’ve been of all shapes, sizes and colors.  They all have something they should be proud of.  They all deserve to be loved.  They deserve to live in a world free of narrow minded asshats like you and the embarrassing army of gerbils who thought your opinion had merit.

 So, in summation, I’d like to say this: If you so deeply believe in what you’re preaching, show your face.  Stand up and let the world see you, since you think you’re so much better than others.  Hell, Mike Jeffries of Abercrombie & Fitch put his face out there and he looks like what would happen if Eric Stoltz in Mask spent a day getting stung by bees.  I’d gladly invite you to suck my dick, but guys who wear Ed Hardy and smell like Axe Body Spray just don’t get my blood flowing.

Ladies, be proud of who you are and what you look like.  Be happy in it.  Confidence is the sexiest thing on a woman.  Go check out the hashtag #effyourbeautystandards on Instagram.  Take a picture, post it and give a giant middle finger to anyone who tries to hold you down.  Seriously, fuck those people and everyone like them.