The other day my son was at the kitchen table drawing pictures of
horror icons because he loves horror movies. While in the middle of one
he stopped and looked at me and said "Dad, I'm drawing Michael Myers. Do
you think I'll be successful?" My first thought was "who the hell talks
like that?!", then I thought "he wants my approval. He wants to know
he's doing a good job so that he can keep on doing it with confidence." I
didn't hesitate to tell him that his drawings were awesome and he'd be
successful. Maybe he'll be an artist one day. Maybe he'll make special
effects for movies. What he won't ever do is tell himself that his dad
didn't believe in him. The same goes for my daughter. She's about to
turn 16 and has her whole life planned out. She knows where she's going
to school and what she wants to do with her life. I don't think I could
be more proud of her and how much she's matured and pulled herself
together over the last couple years.
You might wonder
where I'm going with this. For a little while, I did too. Parenting
isn't an easy job and there's no rule book. You play it by ear and do
what you hope is the best. When I was little I didn't get a lot push to
live my dreams and reach for the stars. I got told no and that I
couldn't do things, a lot. I wanted to play the piano. I was told I
wouldn't stick with it. I wanted to use chop sticks once at an Asian
restaurant. My dad told the waitress that I would fail. I didn't. Now,
before anyone goes thinking that my parents are assholes or anything
like that, please understand that my parents are great people. My dad is
my best friend and my mom is still who I go to when I need some
realistic advice. But what they also are is too realistic. There was no
dream I had that wasn't in some way worn down due to it being a little
outlandish. They loved me. But they didn't push me. And it's that fact
that has held me back in a lot of ways over the years. I've given up on
the vast majority of my dreams because they aren't "realistic." I'll
come up with reasons that whatever it is I want to do, will ultimately
fail. I wanted to be a wrestler, a musician, a writer. All things that I
feel like I would have been pretty good at. I even gave up on this blog
for a while. It was hard to open myself up to people and not
immediately see the rewards from it that I felt I'd see. What were those
rewards? I haven't got a clue. But they weren't there and I walked away
from it.
The irony in all of this is that I'm the
first person to push people to be what they want to be, to root for the
underdog. But I can't take that same advice for myself. Someone once
told me that in a crisis, I'd be the guy that ran into danger to save
other people. Because deep down inside I want to be the superhero.
I guess what I'm getting at is this. Please don't ever give up.
Please don't stop fighting. I know there are moments when you can't take
another step or give another breath or shed another tear. I know it
because I've been there and still live there. Some of you know me and
some of you may not. But I believe in you. I believe that if you want
something badly enough, you can make it a reality. Stop listening to
those venomous voices in your head and keep fighting. I promise you that
it's worth it. Maybe not today, but one day you'll wake up and look
back on your journey and realize that you made your life important
because you never gave up. And on that day, you take that feeling of
pride and you pass it on to the world around you. You stand up for every
person that was where you used to be and you give them hope.
Yeah, I think you'll be successful.
