This is generally the time of year that people will start
talking about how thankful they are for all the good things they have in their
lives. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I’ve always been one of those
people that believed that if you’re only openly thankful on one day a year or
around one time of year, you’re missing the point. So, every fiber of my being is rebelling
against the idea of droning on about how thankful I am. I’ll try and avoid the laundry list of
blessings but forgive me if a stick my toes in the water from time to time.
Anyone who is privy to my life outside of this computer
might say to me, “Hey man, are you thankful for second chances this year?” The
answer to that is no, I’m not. What I am thankful for is clarity. Which is
something that for far too long I didn’t have. Not even in the slightest. I’m also thankful for perspective and finally
having the sense to look at the life that’s right in front of me and enjoy it
for what it is. An always evolving adventure that is often far too short. In my life I have lost friends, some at a
fork in the road and others in the blink of an eye. A year ago I’d have thought
about this and lamented over the times we never got to spend together. Now I
tell myself that the time spent together was more important than the times
never spent. The only waste in life is
not learning what those people were there to teach you.
Tomorrow marks kind
of an important day for me. My oldest turns 14. If I stop and think about that
for too long, my ears start to ring and I get the cold shakes. I still vividly
recall her swinging from my arms and climbing all over me. It must mean I’m
getting older or something. My son, who
just turned 6, now sits and watches monster movies with me just like she did
when she was that age. The cycle continues. So to the both of them, in the off
chance that they read this someday, I love you both very much.
I learned that somewhere along the line I gave up on myself.
It was just easier to sit back and let other people make decisions for me. It
happens, everyone does it at some point in their life. Problem was, I was
allowing people who were no longer a part of my life make decisions. Like annoying voices from beyond the grave. I
used to spend my nights locked up in my dark apartment, waiting for someone to
come in and shine a light for me. All the while the light switch was right
beside me. But I’m good now, certainly not about to shoulder the burden of the
world anymore. It feels really good to
take a deep breath and just live. Enjoy the little things, Like the way the sky
looks early in the morning when I’m walking the dog. Or the way the house
smells when I feel inclined to play in the kitchen.
So if I’m thankful for anything, it’s the ability
to be thankful. My life isn’t as bad as I
imagined it to be. I’ve got some great friends and an amazing family. When I
started this blog, my goal was to “change the world.” I did. I changed my
world. So thank you to all of you who have submitted or simply just hopped on
here and read what others have written. You’ve
made this into a reality.
