Some days are a lot harder than others. This isn't anything
different than anyone else would say but it's unique from person to
person. We all handle our issues in our own way. Maybe you go for a
walk, play a video game or put on an album and let it take you away. The
important thing is that you have some kind of outlet that works for
you. The real kick in the ribs is when your outlets don't work like they
used to or you simply lose touch with what made them work to begin
with.
I'm 37 years old, married with two awesome kids
and when it comes right down to it, I don't really like myself all that
much. I deal with severe body image issues and on more days than I'd
care to admit, I feel like a failure. So, let's try and break this down
and see if we can figure it out.
Body issues. Well,
here's a hot button issue if I've ever heard one. It's everywhere you
look. Mostly it's aimed at women. Making them feel as if they have to
fit this societal mold of what a woman is supposed to look like. It's
total crap and I think most people would agree with that. Critics hide
it under the guise off "wanting people to be healthy." However they
overlook wanting people to be happy. Let me tell you right now that it
isn't just women who deal with this. Look at any magazine and the
pictures you'll find of men will depict them as fit and trim, six pack
abs and given the latest trends, probably bearded and tattooed. There's
nothing wrong with that at all. But what about the guys that look like
me? I'm bald and heavy. I'd probably have to starve myself for a few
months to ever come close to six pack abs. I have hair on my body. I
have no tattoos because I've never found anything I was willing to
permanently put on my body and also because I really don't want any. But
in this day and age you can be looked down on for not having any. The
very people who cried foul because they were looked down on for having
tattoos and piercings are now the ones who judge those of us who
appreciate the art of it but have none.
I know deep down
I'm always going to be that shy and unsure 15 year old kid who used his
sense of humor to hide the fact that he dealt with self doubt and just
wanted people to like him. Who used it to make the people around him
feel happier because he didn't want anyone to feel the way he felt
inside. The saying that the funniest people are often the saddest and
loneliest, it's true. Tears of a clown and all that jazz. I will do
anything to make a person smile because I hope that one of these times
it'll make me smile as well. Smile and really mean it.
Now let's be clear about something. I love my wife and kids and I enjoy
the life that I have with them. But that doesn't mean that the nagging
voices in your head ever really shut up. That takes change, real change.
You have to make them stop. You have to believe that whatever they're
telling you isn't reality anymore. That's a tall order sometimes.
I wish I knew what to say to any of you out there who feel this
way. I can say that you're not as awful as you paint yourself to be. But
I can't make you believe it. I can say that one day it stops bothering
you. But I can't tell you when that day is. I'm still waiting for mine. I
could say that there are a wealth of people out there who love you and
there are, that much is true. But you have to love you first and the
most. You can't find it in other people and it's not fair to put that
kind of responsibility on anyone else.
So in closing
I'll say this. Life can really suck sometimes. People will let you down
and break your heart. They're only human and that's kind of what they
do. No one is perfect. But there's a lot of beauty out there and you can
find it in the most surprising of places. Don't judge by what you see.
Don't be afraid to look beyond what's right in front of you. Don't stand
for people who do that to you.
